My Murphy Brown Moment

My son said something the other date that reminded me of “Murphy Brown,” a TV show that was popular in the 1980s and 90s. Candice Bergen played the title role. Murphy Brown was the hard-driven, forty-something anchor of a TV news program. The show had a running gag about how much Murphy hated Barry Manilow’s music.

After a few seasons the show became controversial because Murphy Brown decided she wanted to give birth to a child but did not want to bother with getting married. It was a big deal back then. Former Vice President Dan Quayle was widely mocked for criticizing Murphy Brown’s decision and not seeming to realize that he was talking about a fictional character. He tried to apologize by buying a blanket for the fictional baby.

The episode of Murphy Brown that comes to mind was one that took place when the baby was a few weeks old. It was three o’clock in the morning and Murphy could not get the baby to stop crying. She tried cooing to him, rocking him, singing to him. She tried to feed him and checked his diaper. Nothing worked. She turned on the radio to find some music the baby might like. As she was turning the dial, the baby stopped crying for a second but then continued crying as she kept going. She noticed that the baby had stopped crying and searched for the station that had caused the baby to stop crying. It turned out to be Barry Manilow singing “Copacabana.”  Murphy toughed it out. She let the song play, and even sang and danced along with it while holding the baby. It worked. The baby went to sleep and Murphy was able to go to bed.

My son is not a Barry Manilow fan - thank goodness - but he is interested in NASCAR. He told me the other day that he wants to go to the NASCAR Hall of Fame in Charlotte, North Carolina on summer vacation. I understand that children learn better if they can follow their interests, but geez, NASCAR? I think auto racing is loud, obnoxious, dangerous, and pretty boring to watch unless one has a morbid desire to see crashes. I think NASCAR is a waste of resources and is responsible for much of the aggressive driving we see on our streets and highways. I don’t discourage the boy’s interest in the sport because I hope it will provide motivation for him to learn about mathematics and physics and chemistry.

I am surprised to find myself using Murphy Brown as a parent role model. She is a fictional character, but I know that there are many parents out there who allow themselves to be tortured by their children’s preferences in order to get them to sleep or to assist in their development.

Maybe it won’t be so bad. The boy is not asking to go to an actual race, after all. It will probably be 100 degrees in Charlotte next August, but maybe we will both learn something.  If we make it to Charlotte next summer, I will feel entitled to brag about being a good parent.

Drama Queens

“Politics is the entertainment division of the military industrial complex.” - Frank Zappa

The deal reached between Democrats and Republicans on Wednesday reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend years ago. The conversation started out with him asking me about my disinterest in professional sports. He loved to watch NBA games. I told him sports are boring to watch unless I have a bet on the contest, and I want to avoid gambling. Besides, I told my friend, it’s a racket. All the games are fixed. I don’t see the difference between professional basketball and professional wrestling. To support this argument, I asked him how often the NBA championships go to seven games.

A championship series that goes to seven games generates more advertising revenue than a series that ends in four games. It also provides more opportunities for suckers to bet. So, they make sure that the series is dramatic. It has to come down to the wire. Maybe the seventh game of the NBA championship is a true athletic contest, but the first through sixth games are scripted. Similarly, the government shutdown and the last minute agreement on the debt ceiling were scripted. They were scripted for the same reason that professional sports matches are scripted: to generate advertising revenue.

Someone is keeping track of our Likes and Comments and Shares, as well as the online articles we read about our dysfunctional government. This allows them to target advertisements that will catch our attention. President Obama and members of the United States Congress are merely actors playing out their scripts to get us to agree or disagree with posts so that they will know how we think.

I heard that the Affordable Care Act, aka Obamacare, is self funded. That is, the funding for the program was established when the act was passed into law. If that is true, the Republicans merely pandered to their constituents when they shut down the government in order to block funding for the program. However, the Democrats need to give more thought to reducing our debt. We are getting deeper into debt, and many people are calling the Republicans insane for trying to do something about it. We cannot continue to ignore this problem.